Stay Tuned: The Devil's Programs
by LiveInFiction
Summary: Chapter 2 is up: These are a few progams that I think should appear on the Devil's Sattelite in Stay Tuned... Warning: Maybe offensive to some viewers
1. Wheel of Misfortune

Stay Tuned  
The Devil's programs  
  
Disclaimer: I have no affiliation to Stay Tuned whatsoever. If I were in charge of the programming these programs will be on air. Inspired by some of the shows that were shown on the movie I decided to have a go at writing this. Enjoy.  
  
WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE!  
  
"Good evening, I'm your host Glenn Ridge and welcome to Wheel Of Misfortune." Glenn said to the cameras as the crowd called out Wheel Of Misfortune on cue, "Tonight, we have three new contestants. Number one is a Cult Leader who likes cutting up goats and drinking blood for rituals welcome Sarah Slitsalot. Contestant two is a member of Australia's Nazi party who likes making political speeches and enjoys spreading hatred. Bruce Hatesablack and finally Jason Hacknslash the serial who enjoys mutilating, dismembering and playing golf on weekends."  
  
The crowd cheers before the round begins as Adriana Xenades steps onto the scene wearing black leather.  
  
"The first puzzle is a person. And as usual we give out no clues." Glenn said, "Sarah, you're first up so spin the wheel."  
  
Sarah leans down and gives the wheel a huge spin and it lands on 150$, "Can I have a P for Princess of The Corn?"  
  
Puzzle: "---- --- --PP---"  
  
"Yep, there are two P's in this puzzle." Two blank spaces next to each other on the board light up to reveal two P's, "Your spin again."  
  
The wheel spins around and lands on 200$, "Could I have an S for Sacrifice?"  
  
A loud buzzing sound was heard to tell everyone that the puzzle had no S's in it, "No S I'm sorry. Well not really. You all know what happens when the contestant gets a letter wrong?"  
  
"Cut off a finger." The audience screamed back in unison, "Finger! Finger!" The audience started chanting. "Alright. Adriana, will you do the honours?"  
  
"Sure Glenn." Adriana said as she approached Sarah drawing out a sharp knife. She held out her hand and extended the index finger. The knife came down hard separating the finger with a clean cut. Sarah let out a yelp in pain, "Now when you solve a puzzle we have doctors standing by to reattach your finger." Adriana said before going back to her place by the board.  
  
A loud cheer went up from the Audience.  
  
"Welcome to the game Bruce." Glenn said as Bruce leant over to spin.  
  
The wheel landed on 320$, "Can I have K for Klan?"  
  
Another box lit up on the board showed there was one K in the puzzle. He spun again. The silver wedge approached closely and the audience started chanting, "Top dollar! Top dollar!" and another roar went up as the wheel stopped on the silver wheel.  
  
"Can I have an R for Reich?" Bruce asked.  
  
Another two boxes lit up to reveal two R's, "Another 750$ to you and now you have a choice of someone to have one of their fingers cut off."  
  
Puzzle: "---K --- R-PP-R"  
  
"I'd have to choose." He thought for a moment, "Sarah. I choose Sarah."  
  
"Off with her finger! Off with her finger! Off with her finger!" The audience began chanting again. Adriana cut off the ring finger with precision. Sarah held her hand straight up and blood spurted up, some of it splattered on my face.  
  
"Sorry Sarah it's not pleasure, it's business mate." Bruce said, "You're a Sheila and therefore inferior to us."  
  
"I knew a woman who bled like Sarah once." Jason chimed in.  
  
Bruce spun again but landed on lose a turn which brought Jason in control and it landed on 260$, "Can I have a J for Jason Vorhees?"  
  
Another box lit up.  
  
Puzzle: "J--K --- R-PP-R"  
  
"I would like to solve it." Jason said quickly, "Jack The Ripper."  
  
"That's right Jason." Glenn said, "Now you have a choice of a Chainsaw, a set of stainless steel knives or a toaster."  
  
"I don't have a toaster Glenn." Jason said, "I think I'll take that."  
  
ROUND 2  
  
"Round 2 is known as the Bonus round. If you spin up the bonus wedge, you never know what you'll get. Could be anything." Glenn said, "Bruce. You're in control."  
  
Bruce lands on the Bonus wedge, "Alright! Could I have an N for Nazi?" Bruce said.  
  
A box lit up, "Ok Bruce. Lift up the wedge to see what you have won."  
  
Bruce did so and revealed the word sniper, "Oh poor Bruce. You know what that means." A single shot rang out hitting Bruce in the head knocking him to the ground. Jason spun up the bankrupt wedge, "Well Jason. That means we have now cleared out your bank accounts and you are now bankrupt."  
  
"Can I buy a vowel Glenn?" Sarah asked, "Can I have an I for-? I don't feel so good." She collapsed due to the loss of blood.  
  
"It looks as if you're the one left standing Jason." Glenn said, "You automatically go forward to the next round. However since you have no money you can't buy any letters and therefore lose. But you'll be joining us on tomorrow's show."  
  
"Looking forward to it." Jason said with a sadistic smile. 


	2. Sadistic Hidden Camera

Stay Tuned  
  
Sadistic Hidden Camera  
  
"Welcome back to the studio." The hostess said, "Now that last one had to be the best prank we ever pulled."  
  
"I loved the look on his face when the tank turned around and ran over the man's dog." The male said, "But as they say. Oh baby, oh baby. You ain't seen nothing yet. Because this last prank of the show is a real doozy. Our woman in the field, Lucy Ferr is about to pull off the biggest prank ever on Sadistic Hidden Camera. Come in Lucy."  
  
"Hello John." Lucy replied, "In our little combative spirit segment, The Prank to End All Pranks, tonight is my turn. We have called in a Hostage Situation to the FBI at this building. If you look closely you can see the man we said is the Hostage Taker."  
  
In the third storey window, there was a man standing by the window drinking a cup of coffee and looking out.  
  
"But as an extra bonus for this." Lucy continued, "We have told that man that there would be fake cops coming around and we wanted him to antagonise them as some sort of publicity stunt."  
  
Sirens wailing could be heard as the law enforcement vehicles approached the area at great speed.  
  
"We can hear the sirens coming fast." John said, "So we'll sit back and watch the events unfold."  
  
"Ok." Lucy said. She stepped away from the camera and stood still to watch what they had started.  
  
The FBI agents stepped out of their vehicles while the SWAT van pulled up and fully armed agents jumped out from it's back.  
  
"What's the situation?" A middle-aged man asked.  
  
"A man has taken several hostages. He's up there." Someone answered.  
  
"Alright I want snipers up on the roof just behind me. And report when you have a clear shot at him." The agent in charge said. He took out a megaphone from the back seat, "Now listen up." He called through the megaphone, "Tell us what you want?"  
  
The man opened the window to call out, "Piss off coppers!"  
  
"Now look here." The AIC replied, "We just want to diffuse the situation before anybody gets hurt."  
  
"You can't even diffuse a plastic bomb!" The man answered back. AIC listened in his earpiece. Two snipers had made their way to their positions and were ready for any orders, "Look here. What are your demands?"  
  
"I demand that you go away and leave me to my business!"  
  
Another agent leant over too him, "This is getting us nowhere."  
  
"If you don't have anything more interesting to do, I suggest you go and dunk your doughnuts since that's what y'all are best at!"  
  
"Stuff this!" He asked in his mic if anyone had a clear shot. They both replied in the affirmative, "This is your last chance to negotiate."  
  
"Or what?!" The man asked, "You'll flash your badges? Oh that's really scary! I'm shaking so much!"  
  
"Ok." AIC said to his snipers, "Take him out."  
  
"Oh you know what they say about big guns guys?" The man called back, "Big guns equals small -"  
  
A shot cut the taunts short and the man fell out of sight, "Target down." One of the snipers said through the headset, "Target down."  
  
Lucy approached the scene and they attempted to get her to leave the area. Before long the AIC approached, "Leave the area ma-am." He ordered.  
  
"Let me say one thing first." Lucy said, "You've been had by Sadistic Hidden Camera. You see that van over there?"  
  
The AIC was stunned for a moment, "My God! You're Lucy Ferr! Everyone, we're on Sadistic Hidden Camera!"  
  
Everyone paused for a moment before someone called back, "You're kidding? I watch that show almost all the time."  
  
  
  
Back in the studio, the two was laughing, "Now that was a good one." Hostess said.  
  
"That's right." John replied, "And remember the golden rule. Don't antagonise the law because you just might be on Sadistic Hidden Camera."  
  
"That brings us to the end of another fun filled action packed show." Hostess said, "Remember to drive safely or at least drive really, really fast. Goodnight." 


End file.
